I’m So Fond-a Jane

On my aimless web drifting I stumbled upon an article about Jane Fonda.  She is just an amazing woman.  An accomplished actress, activist, model and fitness icon who lives her life like it’s golden.  You can’t be mad at that.  I sure love a stand up woman whose all about what she believes and is not part of N.A.T.O (No Action, Talk Only).  She rocks on a legendary scale!

So when you put two things together that I am quite fond-a, Jane + Handbags… You know I’m all over it!

 

Mug Shot Clutch

 

There’s no shame in her fame!  Jane sports her mug shot circa 1970.  Unlike the usual suspects nowadays, she was falsely accused of attempting to smuggle drugs into an airport.  They were vitamins.  But who cares, now 71 you gotta respect how she embraces her past, clutching it and should she put it up for sale,.. the proceeds, like the activist she is will go  to charity! 

I want one!

 

GPS Jockey

 

Compliments of: thes2kblog.com

 

 

Hello to all those donning a GPS in your vehicles, how “millennium” of you!  I address you with a quick rant – not because I’m hating on you, but I’m a little perterbed as to why you feel the need to consult it when driving around your home town.  Is that necessary?  Did the post office you’ve been going to for years all of a sudden sprout legs and run away?  I’m not talking about those who are not familiar with their area or those who are frequently on the road, but honestly what gives?  Surely if you’re in your immediate area, you know your restaurants, and whether or not you need to get on the highway North or South to get to your destination.  Forfeiting your common sense  and sense of direction, which God has given you (which you’ve been using since the turn of the century)  for some electronic device to navigate around YOUR HOME TOWN is simply assinine.  You know where you’re going.  Honestly, whipping it out to get to a destination down the street exposes your failed  attempt to look cool as a stupid ass who is too lazy to do some critical thinking and common sense. 

Thanks!

 

It’s 2 am

It’s been a rough a year so far.  Winds of change blew my house down and my whole world and perspective were suddenly thrusted into starting a new.  The tricky thing about starting a new is that it cannot be successful in the true sense of the concept with out breaking old habits and thought patterns.  Otherwise you’ll end up with S.S.D.P – an acronym for Same Situation Different People; in which yields same results and respectively defeating the purpose of  “starting a new.”

Out with the old....

Taking an unbias assessment your current state, mentally and emotionally, is not easy.  It can be down right uncomfortable!  However, every once in a while you have to say to yourself, “self, this is where you are and who you are and …”  well you take it from there….  It’s important.  It’s like a routine physical of the soul. 

I myself have been plagued with a myriad of thoughts lately.  I felt an unrest within myself and so I took a breath and thought about where I was a year ago today and what my state of mind was then.  I revisited choices I had made good, and bad.  I assessed my thought patterns that had lead me to make certain choices, and from there I was able to see how much I had grown as a person, I’ve also discovered parts of myself that had gone neglected, simply because I just wasn’t in the mind set to realize that these were areas that needed to be nurtured.  With this outlook, I can see how much I’ve evolved.  At the end of the day — the beginning of this one… I feel refreshed.  I placed my old thought patterns with the old and mentally boxed them up and filed them away under ‘past.’  I look at myself now, in the now … Right now,… I’m strong, content, and ready without fear and doubt of what’s to come or of what is, rather I’m strong, content and ready with faith.  

Good Night all….

 

When Bad Relationships Happen to Good People

When it comes to your loved ones, ‘to get involved or not to get involved’ is a tricky question.  As you transition from the phase of girlfriends and boyfriends to husbands and wives,  can you just as easily step in and put your two cents if at all? 

In adulthood people tend to take up residence in the gray area leaving behind the black and white outlook of life and what’s right and wrong – never mind the fact that gray is sum of it’s parts black and white together.  What’s black is black and what’s white is white!  It’s difficult to watch anyone you love and care about go through a relationship that is emotional sadomasochism.  Eventually, the bi standers will grow weary far sooner than the participants.  In situatinons like these, there is no instruction manual.  However, there’s a golden rule “DO NOT GET INVOLVED.”

 

On the contrary of the ‘golen rule’ you can’t stand by and watch your loved one emotionally deteriorate at the hands of someone else.  Taking a spectator position in the gray area helps no one.  When a loved one is lost and cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel, taking a stand and shedding light on the situation is most crucial.  Of course, the truth is never pleasant in instances like these but someone’s gotta do it!  There comes a moment in your life where you may have to play your brother’s keeper so to speak and intervene on the behalf of your loved one.  The odds are what you have to say won’t be received well, at first but nevertheless it must be said.  Much like an intervention for a substance abuser, articulating the nature of the relationship and it’s effects and the likely outcome being what it has been for however long is tough but it’s something that has to be done.

Getting involed means drawing a line in the sand and again, it may result in you being on the outside a while, but people need to hit rock bottom with  no one there simpathizing and enabling the cycle for them to “get better,” and break old habits or do away with bad relationships. 

To get involved or not get involved begs the question whether or not this person in a bad relationship is worth your courage and you taking a stand?

 

Keeping UP…

I don’t understand that element in people that makes them feel that they have to measure themselves against another.  Like snowflakes, no two people are alike.  Comparing yourself, your life, your realtionship, your job, your style, your talent, etc.  Is an intricate component of your downfall.  Getting consumed with someone else’s accomplishments or lifestyle can lead you to making the poorest of choices thus leaving you in an even unhappier place than in which you’ve started.  Focusing on what you need and what you want will compell you to make the proper choices and see things in the proper perspective to get there.  Go at your own pace to get what you need.  Attempting to keep up with someone else never ends well.

 

“The Talk”

Duh Duh DUUUHhhhhh…  ((ominous music))

Every now and again, you maybe in a relationship or circumstance that warrants “the talk.”  It is dreaded as it is uncomfortable knowing that there is a very real possibility that this talk will not go as you hoped.  This talk often begins with the “where are we going” or “what do you want” or  a few key phrases in the mix of this talk might have :

“I’m at the point in my life where”

“I’m tired of playing games”

“We’ve been together for (X amt of time)”

 Blah, blah,…  should you find yourself yearning to have such a talk with your signifiant other and it’s been a while coming, but that frog in your throat (otherwise known as the very real possibility the response you will get is not favorable) has you almost reluctant to mention it,  you must also think of whether or not you’ll be comfortable remaining at this point in your relationship.  Once it’s verbalized that the worst case scenario is your reality, what do you do?  It’s like drawing a line in the sand.  Once you express that you want more and would like to know if “more” is yet to come, if at all… then it puts you both in prospective. 

You have to be prepared for “the talk.”  If you go all in and your bluff is called, there is no turning back.  You’d be going against yourself should you discover that you’re in a dead-end relationship and decide to hang in there with that frail strand of hope that this person will come around.  Should you walk away, you might walk away feeling like you called it quits too soon. 

This infamous talk is the maker or breaker of realtionships and/or sometimes self esteems.  The reason I said that “the talk” is the breaker of self esteems, is because there is ever the “conquorer” type people who just feel that they can get someone to come around.  When that doesn’t happen, their self esteem depleats.

Follow your instincts, if what you want and need out of life and relationships have matured past the relationship you’re currently in, then you owe it to yourself will suck, and it will be a disappointment but you count your blessings that you’re not being strung along and you were given this honest information and embark on your quest for one who is right for you. 

You cannot make pieces of a puzzle fit if they don’t and you most certainly don’t want to stick around in a relationship that isn’t going anywhere; this breeds resentment.  Who’s got time for that in this short uncertain lifetime?  You deserve someone who wants to provide what you need.  You deserve someone who is capable of understanding you, appreciating you and wanting to learn and grow with you throughout the years.  If “the talk” doesn’t go as planned and you find out you’re two different people wanting two different things, thank your lucky stars and don’t waste another moment delaying the inevitable.. reaping misery and bringing others down as well.  It’s just NOT worth it. 

 

I ran across this post, and…

As I was signing on to check my mail, MSN had this article post on their main page.  I clicked and began to read what the author had to say.  With subtitle being “The snarky, multicultural cast of VH1’s Charm School shows some things never change,”  I can agree.  I can agree because in popculture we’ve breeded a new type of subclass that is the reality show star!  Like “carny-folk,”  subjects of , disdain but a great spectacle!  Honestly no self respecting woman, let along white or black young woman would not be found on  Real Chance of Love, or Rock of Love Bus!  Seriously!

There will always be cultural differences in our society, we are a nation that is comprised of people from all over the world, HELLO!  Those who are quick to point them out and make issues of it tend to be  the ignorant, the bigoted and the uneducated.  They are all objectifying themselves, white or black, and so are they really so different afterall?  Whether the black chicks are loud, or the blondes are doing their best ‘Girls Gone Wild’ impression, the fact remains… “You’re all side show freaks, whoring yourelf out for attention!”  As for the stereotypical slinging…

Don’t get it twisted, white girls can beat a b*%$#h’s @s$ and wear weaves too! 

This is our guilty pleasure these dolled up Springer People….  the Richard Bey Guests of sorts.   I grew up in one of the most cultrually diverse communities in the country, and to be able to communicate with those of different cultures you must relate as people.  Those resorting to the slinging of the stereotypes are those who have nothing else to stand on to make themselves feel better about themselves.  Furthermore, how can you really respect anyone and what they’re about if you don’t respect yourself and are not about anything?  It’s not half as entertaining as it is sad, because these aren’t characters on a soap opera!  Charm!?!  Whatever!  A little education and class goes along way!   Standing down from the soapbox!

 

Privacy Is Soooo Last Century

I’m a big fan of technology however, you can find out anything about anyone at any time from your computer or phone. Google (which I love) can show you where a person lives and what color their house is!   Through the satellite pictures, you may just find out who’s car is parked right outside!   There’s spyware for both computers and cellphones, enabling people to track your websites, conversations, voicemails and even text messages!   You go to any of those backgroundcheck websites and they’ll give a preview of where any given person maybe residing (city, state) and even their next of kin!  Honestly, if it weren’t for the fact that most charge outrageous prices for full reports on the property you own, your alma mater, your marital status (license) even how much you made last year!  That gives me the creeps and makes me feel more violated and naked than the time I lost my wallet with everything in it including the check I had just cashed.  My GOD!  Everything is just up for grabs if anyone is interested enough.  Anyone can find your e-mail, cell phone, and credit report.  That’s just scary!

In some cases, special cases, however it’s helpful should you run into Socio/Psychopathsin which can neither confirm or deny the hot heap of crap the spew at you.  Here’s a story of a lovely lady who got taken by a seemingly lovely man click here. 

 

Nonetheless privacy in 2009 is nothing more than a word!

 

A Match Made in… uh… (ahem)… ???

Every once in a while we may stumble upon a relationship between two people that stumps us.  Like that song, ‘Is She Really Going Out With Him?’ sometimes a relationship can bring us pause.  Some relationships can actually give us nausea because it maybe completely blatantly obvious that these two are not suitable.  Then again, who are we to judge?  No one can quite understand the true nature of a relationship except the two people that are in it.  Aside from the parties involved, the dynamics of the pair go unwitnessed.  Naturally it’s hard to believe that people could and would voluntarily carry on a relationship that may be bad for their health, however, there are some people that do ‘like it like that.’  Whether it’s a couple that can actually succumb to throwing haymakers at one another,… in front of guests, or they have a knack for eradicating any joy in the room, thus making everyone uncomfortavle… what ever reasons they have behind sticking around, they stay `ol faithful to one another.

When you’re close to people in relationships like that, you want to help them see the light!  You want to reveal to them that the relationship isn’t a prosperous one.  It hurts to watch someone you really care about go on this bumpy ride down a rabbit hole with a crazy hare that isn’t worth their time.  No matter what you say or what you do they will continue to go deeper and deeper down the hole.  As frustrating a situation as it is, all you can do is stand there with your first aid kit of TLC and wait it out.

Is She Really Going Out With Him?

 

A Quote.

There was a blind girl who hated herself because she was blind.

She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always there for her.

She told her boyfriend, ‘If I could only see the world, I will marry you.’

One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her. When the bandages came off, she was able to see everything, including her boyfriend.

He asked her,’Now that you can see the world, will you marry me?’

The girl looked at her boyfriend and saw that he was blind. The sight of his closed eyelids shocked her. She hadn’t expected that. The thought of looking at them the rest of her life led her to refuse to marry him.

Her boyfriend left her in tears and days later wrote a note to her saying: ‘Take good care of your eyes, my dear, for before they were yours, they were mine.’

There’s a lot to think about this quote.  It hit home for me when mentioned in the dialogue of a movie called Cover. 

 

This can be said for a myriad of circumstances and situations.  Relationships are often perceived in a myopic (at best), if not blind view.  Seeing things how you see them and seeing them for what they are can very different.  It may not even be what you want.